I can't even get up....

i wanted to cry....
i wanted to tell everybody about the pain that i've been through....
but i can't seem to let it out....
no matter how hard i tried....
i just can't....
i miss cable guy terribly right now...
its always so easy to pour all my sadness to him...
n he always seem to care....
n comfort me like nobody had ever done....
not even my parents make me felt so secured....
like he usually do....
i miss him so much...
until i got a fever right now....
i can't even get up....
its just to painful....
i cried on my bad....
i smiled in front of everyone....
i laughed at the most stupidest joke....
i ate the most unpleasant food....
i watched the most boring tv program....
n i didn't even cared about it....
because i miss him so much....
i don't even want to take my medicine....
it doesn't seems to cure my illness....
y....
y do u have to go cable guy????
i know i'm an idiot who loves u without any regrets....
i'm the idiot who always think of u....
even though i know u don't even cared about me....
i'm the idiot who never think twice about suffering for u....
i'm the idiot here....
but plz.....
make some time to notice this idiot girl right here....
plz....